Wednesday, November 25, 2009

~Enj0yaBle m0mEntS~

I’d decided to spend my last weekend to learn & care more about excema.
I’m quite surprised~majority of the patients were children.
Really amazed with their parents (their love, kindness) ~hope I’ll be the one (sooner or later) ~

~Some info to share~

Show time~most children love it~& me too….~also the parents, Drs n staffs..

 With Johnny thed handsome clown~
Entertain myself~pic taken by kamarul-props by wadi~
~thank you very much for make this event success!
*taking control of your excema*


~thanks to all "akak2 n abg2" for your hard work~


“The six most important words: I admit I made a mistake.
The five most important words: You did a good job.
The four most important words: What is YOUR opinion?
The three most important words: If you please.
The two most important words: Thank You.
The one most important word: We.
The least important word: I.



langkawi~a place that listed in my "book of possibilities"...
& now, its turns to REALITY... thanks to CRC..ehe
teambuilding~its what we called it!

the foods that had been digested by my "owes empty" stomach.
got some more~forgot to take 'their' pics~oho

arrival~kuala perlis~have to apply sunblock
(provided by Dr Chang~my skin consultant a.k.a my b0ss~thanks Dr).
got CRC's tshirt~blue???~oho
~our 'tour guide'; mr apize.
intan n suzi~so tired.
arrival~sandy beach resort~

~break the icesss, guys!
~speech by Mr Mazlin n Dr Lim.
~patela 'tower'.

cheers; C~R~C- lead by hidayah & aisyah.
belalang VS belatok.~catched 5  belatoks!~yeay!

never break d chain~"kakakku kata, kuku kaki ku kaku. lalu ku kikis-kikis kuku kaki ku!"
play time~

explorace~patela; 2nd runner up!~congrates.........

gamat~sea cucumber???

mahsuri~"langkawi tidak akan aman dan makmur selama tujuh keturunan!"

~field of burnt rice!

So high~so scared!~I’m gayat!-dat wat “inside me” said to me..huh?!

~shopping time-chocs??!-keychains??!

Now, it’s time to go home…bye2!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


~dedicated to someone dat i luv~no matter wat~i'll owes b by your side~even though u'll leave me alone, i'll neva leave u~coz, u like my tattoo n i'll owes hav u~

no matter wat u say bout luv
i keep coming back 4 more
keep my hand in d fire, sooner or later
i get wat i'm asking 4

no matter wat u say bout life
i learn every time i bleed
d truth is a stranger, soul is in danger
i gotta let my spirit b free

2 admit dat i'm wrong
n den change my mind
sorry but i hav 2 move on
n leave u behind

i can't waste time so giv it a moment
i realize nothing's broken
no need 2 worry bout everything i've done
life every second like it was my last one

don't look back, got a new direction
i loved u once, needed protection
u'r still a part of everything i do
u'r on my heart just like a tattoo

just like a tattoo
i'll owes hav u

sick of playing all of these games
it's not bout taking sides
wen i looked in d mirror didn't deliver
it hurt enough 2 think dat i could stop

admit dat i'm wrong
n den change my mind
sorry but i hav 2 move on
n leave u behind

i can't waste time so giv it a moment
i realize nothing's broken
no need 2 worry bout everything i've done
life every second like it was my last one

don't look back, got a new direction
i loved u once, needed protection
u'r still a part of everything i do
u'r on my heart just like a tattoo

just like a tattoo
i'll owes hav u

if i live every moment
won't change any moment
there's still a part of me in u

i will neva regret u
still d memory of u
marks everything i do

can't waste time so giv it a moment
i realize nothing's broken
no need 2 worry bout everything i'v done
live every second like it was my last one

don't look back, got a new direction
i loved u once, needed protection
u'r still a part of everything i do
u'r on my heart just like a tattoo

just like a tattoo
i'll owes hav u
i'll owes luv u~

Monday, November 23, 2009

ThE iRRepLaCeaBle v0iD

dunno real story or fiction, but worth sharing ……

(The irreplaceable void)

A story worth sharing

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'.... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.... but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just tell to the god and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will sent the message to god on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well.. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my .....~i really mis u!

For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.
Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first.
With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

mY LUv.....

Its time for me to 'share' my love...

"What does love looks like?
It has the hands to help others.
It has the feet to hasten to the poor & needy.
It has the eyes to see misery & want.
It has the ears to hear the sighs & sorrows of men.
That's what love looks like."

Last two weekends, I share my whole evening with my sis(s) at RACTAR, together with k.Davina, k.Sheema, k.Shida, Siti, k.Anida and Matt.~it was such a wonderful evening~ thanks a lot guys.....

6pm~its time to go back..
need to pack my goods for anode trip to langkawi~yeay!

"Dear sis(s),
There are no good-byes, where ever we are, you'll always be in my heart..
love U all so much...see you soon~

Your sis,

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

kEk spAn 9Cm

This story written by juneashr a.k.a my sis...


Petang itu, Ila mengajak adiknya ke kedai kek. Hasil tabungannya dan si adik beberapa hari lepas digenggam kemas. Hajat mereka mesti dilaksanakan hari ini juga. Beberapa langkah lagi ke kedai kek milik perempuan cina Ila sempat bertanya pada si adik.

"Berapa ya harga kek tu? Harap-harap tak mahal sangat."
Si adik menjawab: " Entah la kak, kalau tak silap ari tu adik tengok Rm 2.80. Tak tau la kalau dah naik harga. Harap-harap tak kan kak.."

Ila cepat-cepat mengira wang ditangannya. 20 sen, 1 ringgit, 2 ringgit setengah, tiga ringgit...

" Kita ada RM3 je dik." " Kalau tak cukup kita beli benda lain je boleh.?"
"Hmm... Nak beli ape kak. Nak sambut hari jadi kena la beli kek. Tak ade kek kita nak smbut dengan apa?" Si adik menjawab sedih.

Setibanya mereka di kedai itu, si adik terus menarik Ila melihat ke dalam cermin kaca. Setelah membuat pembayaran, dengan wajah yang ceria Ila dan adiknya balik ke rumah. Baki 20 sen disimpan dalam kocek seluar.
Dari luar rumah, Ila melambaikan tangan pada emak sambil menunjukkan kek yang baru dibeli. Emak hanya membalas dengan senyuman.

" Kak, cepat la... Adik kira 1,2,3 kita nyanyi sama2 tau..."

Satu... Dua... Tiga...

"Selamat hari jadi, selamat hari jadi, selamat hari jadi ayah.... Selamat hari jadi..." Kek sebesar 9cm ini dihalakan ke muka ayah. Sempat juga si ayah mencium pipi Ila dan ketiga-tiga adiknya. Tanda terima kasih.

Jelas tergambar riak terharu pada wajah tua ayah. Begitu juga emak. Kek 9cm itu kemudiannya dibahagi kepada 6 bahagian.

Biarpun ia habis dengan sekali suap, namun ia begitu bernilai bagi Ila sekeluarga kerana itulah kek hari jadi pertama yang mampu mereka beli.
Kek span 9cm...

It means a lot to me... thanks sis...
Maybe she doesn't know, how much I love her cause i never ever told her 'bout it...

Do I need to talk 'bout it when I can show/express my love with my action?~